I miss mom

Lord, I surrender. I want to move out. I am not becoming a better person. I don’t want to be like her someday. I am afraid that when I start my own family, I will be like her. I don’t want that to happen. I am devastated right now because I know that you gave me this task and I know that I can’t change my mom but I can always pray but…I am so tired. My heart is becoming like a stone and I am going farther from her. I have no peace of mind and I can’t believe that my mom has changed way worse than before. It breaks my heart and it kills me.
I miss mom and how she was like.

DIRTY ( part II)

My biggest burden as a Christian is my mom. I am not proud to say this but it’s true. I cannot keep up with the Word from the Bible " honor your father and mother" because every single day I find things that I really can’t stand and I just really want to escape or disappear sometimes. When I decided to work homebased, I knew this would be my problem. However, I told myself, I would like to serve my parents and give them the best that I can before I get married (although it’s not too soon).

I’m always awaken by my mom’s voice scolding my dad or my brother, or if not she’s complaining about other things or if it’s a quiet mode, that means she’s still asleep. I hate it!!! It drives me crazy. This is what I go through every single day and it makes me a crank too! I complain inside my mind when my mom is always out because it means I have to do all the errands if I want a clean house but I also have work to do! Ano ba?! Besides, I’m not the mother! I also complain inside when she’s here running errands because I am a hundred percent sure that while she’s here, she’s also holding grudges about doing everything here at home which is not true.

Today, she left early in the morning to do something at the church. She’s back at 1pm, already whining, because she can’t carry the feeds she bought for our small store, and that my sister is bugging her about the confirmation coz she’s needs it, and that she still needs to clean the house ( which I already DID!!! Hindi ba obvious?!) while our " maglalaba" came today washing the white clothes that have've been soaked for 2 days. And what is my mom doing now? - cooking something for some small gathering at the church which means she is going out again.

Somebody help me!!! I really HATE this part of my life. I am not talking but one day I am going to explode. Today, I washed all the dishes, mopped the floor, cleaned the house, cooked food and yet my mom said, I have so many things to do and I am the only doing it. I am so tired. What?! Did mom hear herself? Well, I shouldn't wonder. It's the same line I hear every day.

I do these things almost every day but she doesn’t see it. Why am wondering now?! Sigh.

ARE MOMS REALLY LIKE THIS? I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE THIS. I want to balance everything, church, family, friends and etc….

DIRTY!!!

how would you feel if you wake one morning and the house is such a mess; the kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes, the floor is unswept, there's no cooked rice, the laundry has been soaked for 2 days, and your mother is at the church which leaves the store she manages unattended yet open and this happens almost everyday...

I'm not a whiner

1 Corinthians 10:10 - And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel.

I’m not a whiner. There are times when I would comment on something that’s not properly done, but it doesn’t make me a whiner. Unfortunately, staying here at home ( because I am working home based ) makes me complain A LOT inside my head. I just hate the way my mom and dad and my brother do their stuff undesirably. I just can’t tolerate their ways and even if I want to shut my mouth, my head keeps on spinning and it makes me lose my sanity sometimes.

I hate the way my mom cooks in the kitchen and leaves every mess afterwards.
I hate the fact that she doesn’t stock groceries and goes to the market every single day.
I hate that she is almost everday out in the church (because she has SO many obligations) or with friends which leaves her responsibilities at home hanging.
I hate that she thinks she’s the only one doing all the chores here at home when it is sooo false.
I hate that she thinks she knows everything and she wants to outwit every person around and she doesn’t accept other people’s opinion. (Sigh)
I hate that when she goes out to buy something, she always takes too long because she gets stuck talking with people. (Well, not necessarily gossiping)
I hate that the house isn’t always clean because she’s always preoccupied.
I hate that she doesn’t know how to run our business well but she thinks it’s the other way around. (Whew!)
I hate that my brother is such a lazy pig and acts like a king.
I hate that he doesn’t value every single penny we spend for his education.
I hate that he doesn’t know any household chores, even cooking noodles or frying egg!!! (Gosh!)
I hate that he doesn’t listen and accept criticisms.
I hate that my dad is very kind but disorganized.


The Bible clearly says that complaining is a sin. It shows an attitude that you are ungrateful and bitter. Altright. I know that we can't change people and I can't act like a dictator by telling me to do this and that. But...their ways are killing me. So now, I'm just tuned in to my favorite songs, trying to calm my spirit. ^^

Glory to God!~

The Best things in Life

The Best things in Life (for me)

1. Falling in love
2. Family
3. Real friends
4. Laughing til your stomach hurts
5. Eating without worrying about gaining another pound
6. Sleeping without any worries and knowing you have at least 7 hrs to sleep
7. Hot coffee with pandesal and cheese
8. Picnic
9. Getting a snail mail
10. Receiving a comment or message from a long lost friend
11. Getting a lot of freebies
12. Getting a last piece of dress that’s 75% off and fits you right!
13. Food! Cakes, ice cream, pizza, barbecue, fried chicken, pasta, hamburgers, cheese, bread
14. Massage
15. Road trip
16. Waking up with the person you love lying right beside you
17. Breakfast in bed
18. Giggling
19. Good conversation
20. Phone calls and text messages
21. Cool roommates
22. Late night strolls
23. Sweet dreams
24. Sitting quietly in the park
25. Holding hands
26. Watching movies in theatre
27. Going to places
28. Meeting new people
29. Christmas and no work holidays with pay
30. Listening to old songs
31. High school life
32. Cancelled classes due to typhoons
33. Hugging the person you love
34. Tender kiss
35. Knowing the person you love, loves you back big time
36. Getting what you want after a long wait
37. Cuddling
38. Hearing the person you love the most tell you " I've been praying and waiting for you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you"
39. Internet
40. Meeting new people

There's a lot more but I'm sleepy now so I'll continue this tomorrow...hehe

Blessings Arise

Thank God it's Tuesday!

It's a nice Tuesday because I finally got my internet connection back and I can go back to work tomorrow. Also, I got a great job offer to work abroad. Apparently, I'm not sure if I can take it or not. Anyways, I'll cross the bridge when I get there.

Around this time, last year, I had an offer to study Theology in Korea and be a missionary at the same time. I was torn between leaving Philippines for greener pasture and staying in the Philippines with the person I hope to marry someday. Well, I'm not a fan of long distance relationships so I decided to stay. I know that long distance relationship is way hard. I saw my sister cried every single night back then and I didn't want that to happen to me. They even broke up, though they're getting married in July after 10 long years. Love is love, indeed. Anyway, even if I chose my boyfriend over a missionary work in Korea, God still blessed me in a very great way. I got a job as a Training Manager in another International English Academy and I also had the rare chance to be the private tutor of the Korean Consulate here in Philippines as my part-time job in the evening. Me??? A manager and a tutor to the Consul? I never thought of that even in my dreams. I don't have a Masteral. I never took TOELF, or TESOL or anything related to that. I didn't have any edge to have an opportunity like that. BUT...I've got the best backup- GOD! Aren't those blessings so great?

Next month, I'll be going back to Korea to meet my future in laws. This is really it! I'm getting married soon! ^^ Also, I might work abroad, depends on me whether I will accept it or not. I can't thank God enough. I'm so blessed, indeed.

God does bless His people even if we don't deserve it. He's just so good! so good!

Blessings everyone! May we all be blessed!

Glory to God!

Let go and let God heal you

" Let go and let God heal you" is one the most remarkable lines I heard from one sharer during a church conference several years ago. It's stuck in my mind and I always tell it to myself when I go through some tough and hurtful times. We all go through situations where we get hurt, either from other people, ourselves or even from God.

I said from people and we all know why. We get hurt from our families, special someone, colleagues, friends and it is inevitable. Worse, sometimes the last person we expect to hurt us, is the one person who causes us the most heatbreaking, agonizing experience. I know for sure that that pain doesn't easily go away and it does leave a scar. I have been hurt many times and for every pain I had had, I swear I cried gallons and gallons of tears.

We get hurt from ourselves. Yes, we do. We believe in ourselves and we set high hopes. We struggle to achieve our goals. We work hard to make our dreams come true. But, sometimes no matter how hard we try, we just don't get what we want. We get hurt from ourselves because we sometimes think that we are losers. We are slum. We are stupid. When a relationship fails, we blame ourselves. When we lose our jobs, we feel stupid. When we disobey God, we feel guilty and we get stuck in that guilt. We get hurt from ourselves when we make mistakes, when we fail, when we are not able to achieve our goals and when we think we don't please God.

We get hurt from God, Yep, we do. When we get hurt from people and ourselves unexpectedly, we ask God why. When our prayers are not answered, we wonder why. When something goes wrong, we question God why it happened. God has His own reason and I'm sure that in the end, we will all say " God meant it for good". God isn't going to reveal to us YET the reason why, unless we take a leap of faith and hold to Him.

I mentioned about these things because I know that many of us, including me, when we feel pain, we feel like we can't get out of it anymore. We linger on that pain. We wobble. We let the world stop turning. Come on! Snap out the wrong mindset. Shake it off. Forgive people. Forgive yourself. Forgive God. Let go and let God heal you. Remember that we will always collide with other people. We are all different and we cannot have everybody love us no matter how good we think we are. So forgive them...let go!

Forgive yourself. We are not perfect. A lyric from Miley Cyrus' song says... " there's always gonna be another mountain. Always gonna be an uphill battle. Sometimes it might knock me down. Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.- yes of course! As long as we are breathing, we will go through many circumstances that will shake us and hurt us. So let go. Learn from that experience and when you get knocked down, get up and get back up! Climb up another hill until you reach the top. Faithful men in the bible experienced failures, miseries, unfairness, long wait, long journey. Yet, they never gave up. Not to mention how much blessed they've become after.

Forgive God. Believe in His promise. Have faith that your future is certain and that He got you at the palm of His hands. Don't ever doubt on His plans on your life just because you didn't get what you're asking for. Always remember that HIS mind is Higher than the heavens above, therefore, He has the brightest and best intention for us. God loves us unconditionally. If we have done something beyond His will, just ask for forgiveness and know that He is more than ready to forgive us and forget whatever wrong we did. His is faithful and His love for us always remains the same.

Anyone in pain right now, let go and let God heal you. It may not be easy and quick but remember that God is right beside you waiting to have the chance to wipe your tears away. Call onto HIM. He is waiting for you.

Glory to God!

Centre of my Life

This is an old song from Hillsong United and it's my anthem right now coz I want to make God the centre of my life.

Let my walk speak loud and my words be true

Let my life be whole with my eyes on you

Lord, I'm stepping out from the comfort zone

Letting go of me, holding onto You

Freedom comes when I call You Lord

You are Lord, my God

You are the centre of it all

The universe declares in awe

Your majesty I surrender all

I make youThe centre of my life

Lord, I respond with all I am

You placed in me the song of heavens melody

Your MajestyI live to sing Your song

I have found your peace.

I have found Your peace

It replaces any fear

You have done it all

I can trust in you

Wait with Confidence

"…See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm…"(James 5:7-8, NIV).

I joined the group Joel Osteen Ministries in Facebook so I receive a newsletter and message from the group every now and then.

Here's an excerpt from Joel and Victoria's Message today.

In the book of James, the Bible tells us that we should wait for God’s promises like a farmer waits for his harvest. Now, I’ve never seen a farmer plant a crop and then worry night and day about whether or not it’s going to come up. He doesn’t lose sleep thinking, “Oh, I hope that my corn is going to take root. Please God, let my corn bring a harvest.” No, he waits with confidence, knowing that the harvest will come. He does his part, and he knows that seed will produce a good crop.

here's what i think:

Isn't the illustration so meaningfully close to us? I think that many of us have experienced waiting and we know how it feels. For some people it drives them crazy and they soon give up. While some others patiently wait until they get their blessings. I know that "waiting" is not one thing people would want to do for a long time, but just like what the bible tells us in Isaiah 40:31 " But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles;". Let's all patiently for whatever it is we are asking for. For those who are praying for their one true love to come, wait! For those who are waiting for a new job, wait! For those who are praying for their sick loved ones to get better, wait! For those who are praying for some people to change, wait! For whatever it is that we are praying and waiting for, be confident in the Lord. Believe that HE has great plans for us and we just need to pray and patiently wait.

Glory to God!

“And though I fail, your faithful love remains”

“And though I fail, your faithful love remains”

It’s a very rainy, melancholic and gloomy Thursday and it quiets me and brings me to thinking. This is yet another episode in my life where I wish I’m doing something but I don’t. Sigh. I know that many of you will agree in this thing. There are so many things we know we should be doing but sometimes, sometimes, they're just so hard to execute.

While writing this I am listening to the song “YOU” by Hillsong and I am enthralled by the lyrics. “As I look upon you I am changed. And though I fail, your faithful love remains”.

- Though I am not doing the things I should be doing, His faithful love remains.

God is so good. He knows our weaknesses and He never judges our hearts, instead He searches us through and through and He changes us. He knows exactly where we are, what we’re going through and how we feel. He listens and stays. He wipes away our tears and makes us strong. He never leaves us and He keeps His promises. What else can I ask for than this unconditional and unfailing love?

Tonight, I want to start over again and try my best to reciprocate to God’s love. I want to answer to His calling and obey. I don’t want to let another day just pass by staying in the rut and not doing anything for God’s glory. I want to move and start again my race. I want to stand up and fight a good fight of faith. I know for sure that there will be another rock I will stumble upon, but I also know that God is with me every step of the way. I know that when I fall, He is there to tell me,”… take heart daughter”.

Glory to God!

I belong to YOU

"I belong to You Jesus my first love. You're everything I'm living for. You're the joy I know. The treasure I hold dear. I burn for You My eternal love"

Hello bloggers! I'm back!

I had an account in this site 2 years ago but I deleted it because I couldn't think of the real contents I wanted to write here. Back then I wrote about my christian life, however when I was reviewing my posts I realized that many of them sounded low in spirit ( i was depressed that time) and I didn't like them.
This morning I had a wake up call from God. I turned on my computer after praying and I heard for the first time this song " I belong to you". This song doesn't really sound very sentimental like other gospel songs but it did touch my heart and made me realize something. It reminded me that " JESUS IS MY JOY". I have been wailing to God during my prayer time for that past few days. I have a prayer request that remains unanswered until now and it makes me really down that I'm losing my joy. But this dawn, I was nudged by the Holy Spirit and reminded that I should rejoice in all circumstances for Jesus is my JOY.

I hope to be writing more in this blog site. Stay with me in my walk of faith.
Glory to God!