my most embarrassing moment LOL!

I wasn't able to send the money for my mom yesterday because the bank was already closed even before the time I had the time to go out. I decided to go back again today and also deposit my salary in my savings account (BDO).

I don't know how to write this story in a way that anyone who will read this will laugh because for me, this is my most embarrassing moment ever and I can't help but laugh at my stupid self.

My cousin's account is in Metrobank. It is very familiar to me because it is in the middle of the Mercury drug store where I always go and BPI where I withdraw money if the BDO ATM machine is out of order. It was almost 3pm and I was really hurried to get inside to avoid missing the chance to deposit the money. When I took the blue slip which is for depositing, I was surprised because there were 3 excess numbers in the account number that my cousin gave. I asked the guard if it was the right slip and he said " yes". He also told me to just ask the manager for assisstance since they can check her name in case something's wrong with the number. The manager kindly checked it but he couldn't find it too so he told me to call my cousin. I had to go out to buy e-load. kk! Because I rarely load up my cellphone. So I called my cousin and she said it's the right number. I went inside the bank for the second time and told the manager, " my cousin said this is the right number". Then the manager asked me, " what is her bank?" I confidently said " Metrobank!" The manager said, " Eh BPI to eh... " (This is BPI!!!") OMG! Guess you can imagine how I turned red and quickly melted and evaporated.

Moral lesson: Don't ever deposit money! hehe! or Don't ever go to the bank. hehe! LMAO

Me, my mom and our mouths

Here I go again writing about my mom. I think this blog is intended to write all my chagrin about my mom. What is wrong with her? Or What is wrong with me? A month ago, I told my mom that I’ll buy her an air ticket going to Singapore since it’s not very expensive. Also on my mind, I want her to experience travelling abroad since she’s getting older and she deserves to have some leisure too. Although I resent most of her actions, because they are most of the time proud, insensitive and out of this world) and dislike listening to her stories because I find them irrational and self-centered, I love her and I feel very bad about myself knowing I have this kind of thinking about her. I always feel guilty when it comes to her. I know that I should really just SHUT my mouth but I can’t help it. Her actions are way off. Anyway, to continue my story, my mom is now in her hometown because she has some problems with her NSO birth certificate. She needs to go to the municipal to have it fixed and have her middle name written on it. If you’re going to get a passport through agency, you’ll spend only 1,200 pesos or 750 if you will do it on your own in DFA. My mom had spent 2,000 pesos for the stuff she did today at the municipal, whatever that is. Naturally, anyone will ask, what did you pay for 2k php? And I see nothing wrong in that so I asked and then I suddenly dropped it and said, “oh I don’t really want to know I just ask, anyway...Unfortunately, to my mom it was a big deal. She lost it! She shouted at me over the phone saying, “I will show you all the receipts tomorrow” “you are always doubtful” “things are different now, everything is expensive” “you have a very bad mouth that’s why I don’t like talking to you” “shut up” and she kept on shouting things. And then I said I don’t like to fight and let’s end this call and so she dropped the phone. Sigh. Is my question really that bad? is it my way of asking? is it me? I was really shocked and I am in tears now because I don’t understand her and why these things are happening. I envy those people who have a good relationship with their mothers. I wish that my mom would at least, ONCE, listen to other people and know that she is not always right or maybe I should wish that my mouth will automatically stop saying a word when it’s about her, maybe then these kind of things will not happen again.

I love my mom and I want to honor her and obey her, so help me God.

Where does God want me to go?

Tomorrow is Sunday again and I don’t know which church I will go to again. I have been attending in a church nearby but I have to admit that I have never really felt blessed eversince I attended there. I do not blame the pastor or anyone in that church for I know that the problem is with me. I know that when we go to church, we are to focus on GOD not people. My mother church is in Antipolo which is 3 hours away from here. When I decided to work home based, I knew that I will have a problem commuting from here to my church. Anyway, I still chose to work here at home although I had an option then of staying near my church. I know that Sunday comes only once a week and it’s just right for me to give that time to God. Of course that’s what I want to do also, but imagine the time, the cost, and the energy I will be spending every Sunday. I know it’s worth it for there I find peace of mind, happiness and true of meaning worship. It’s my sanctuary. I want to go there every single day. I want to attend all services in my church like I used to; Bible study, cell group meetings, visitation, evangelization, dawn and evening prayer. I want to worship God with all my heart and soul. I want to serve God any way I can. I want to sing songs of praise for Him. I want to cry out to Him and surrender all my cares. I want to delight him with my humble heart and burning spirit that wants to love Him and know Him more. BUT…I am here. I am here. I don’t have what it takes to worship Him and serve Him there and it hurts me more than anything right now. How can I not afford to go there every Sunday? I know that God calls me to serve there but I have been so disobedient- because I have to wake up very early, because I have to take the jeepney ride, because I have to spend a lot for the transportation, because I will take the zigzag road for 6 hours back and forth while the worship service is for only 2 hours, because I’ve become complacent with the idea of simply going to church without really having the heart to worship. I wasn’t like this and I don't want to be like this anymore. I know that God is everywhere. I wonder where God wants me to go?

GOOD- night

My day almost ended awfully. I know that I am PMS-ing so my attitude is appalling plus the muggy weather aggravates things. I don’t like it that way but I can’t help it. I cannot explain how in the world my mood suddenly changed, but I thank God because after dinner, my spirit just turned up and I’m smiling again. Was it the " adobong kangkong with ground pork" that shake off my terrible mood? or the conversation with J? or the coffee? or the rain? or simply the Holy Spirit who used all those things to change the tunes and cheer me up? Anyhow, I'm glad I'm going to bed blithely and with a smile on my face.

Glory to God in the highest who makes His children joyful and takes away the pain!

Goodnight everyone! :D

I can't thank God enough

I’m so back in the Philippines and although I am again million miles away from J, I can’t be down because there’s something to look forward to. J and I had a very wonderful trip in Korea. I know that J loves me and is of proud me, but at the back of my mind, I still had some worries on how we will walk together in the crowd. I was really happy to be with J standing tall anywhere we went. He would always carry my stuff and hold my hand. He would let me take the cab first and would always ask if there’s anything I want. There was never a single second I felt awkward while meeting his family, friends or just being around with Koreans. His mom treated me well and I am so amazed to see how wonderful mother/ person she is. I can’t say anything bad about her. I totally salute her.
J is God’s gift to me. After I became a Christian, for 4 long years, I was just praying for the man of my dreams. It’s no surprise to know that J had been praying too then. When we met, we didn’t realize it would be the start of our story. We didn’t realize that God had started writing on His book a beautiful love story where we are the actors. God had made a wonderful way to connect two people who are literally million miles away from each other to be together at exactly the right time He chose. It’s so amazing how God sets the day, time, and place where the two people He created to be together, BE together.
I am so blessed to have J and to get so much love from people; Koreans. From the day of my flight, to every single day I spent there, ‘til I get back in the Philippines, I felt love, care and importance. I thank God for every beautiful experience I have, have had and will have.
God said, I will show you things you can never imagine and bless you abundantly, - He means it! He does what He says He will so hold on to His promises!

Glory to God!

love and discrimination

Last night I had a very long conversation with 5 Korean women of different ages. ( 22, 24, 26, 51, and ?). We talked about so many things and I really think that it was a very open, intellectual and sincere talk. What were the topics? Of course-the ever favorite of women, L-O-V-E, men, marriage, employment and stuff. I was actually in the hot seat because I'm the one who came here in Korea to meet "my future" mother-in-law.

Last Thursday was the first time to meet J's mom personally. Although I know that she doesn't approve our plans for marriage yet, she treated me well. She cooked my favorite food (camjatang) , she prapared my room, gave me towels and underwear coz she said I'll be staying here for several days, (but i brought many undergarments too! ^^) she gave me medicines for cold, flu and stomachache just in case, since the weather is still a bit cold for me ( 10 degrees in the morning and evening, but 30 at noon). She treated me as if I were her daughter in law. I felt love, warmth and concern and from her. J and I were so happy and hopeful that she'd allow us to get married soon. Bur this is what she said, " why does RayAnne have to be a Filipino? if she is Korean you can get married tomorrow". I'm not a mother but I understand her pain seeing her eldest son marry a foreigner someday which will surely be a straight way to discrimination. Her mother even got a phonecall from her aunt saying words of discouragement and all.

Anyway, I was happy to be talking with open-minded women last night. It's a relief knowing there still are people who believe in true love. It's nice to know that some Koreans are now open to other cultures.

Sigh. I am NOT worried of our future. I know that someday I will walk down the aisle and he's there at the front waiting for me. I JUST feel so bad that J now gets criticisms for choosing me.

I believe that God created one person who is exactly right for you. I know that J is the one for me. I know that he is the one I prayed for.

back in Korea

I got up at 3:30 today coz the sun was already high. It felt like 6AM! I wanted to sleep more but I couldn't. J and his mom attended dawn prayer and when they got back , J sneeked into my room, greeted me a good morning and touched my cheek. It's been a long while! I missed that. He's in the kitchen now doing his daily devotion while his mom is cooking breakfast. I am here writing. It's nice to be here! I love the modernity and beauty of Korea! :D I love the people too! I am so blessed to have met very good Koreans.

Yesterday during the plain ride, I met one couple who went to the Philippines for their honeymoon. We spent the whole trip talking and though I was having a terrible headache, due to the many cases of turbulance, I enjoyed every bit of our conversation. At the immigration, I thought I will be interrogated a lot, apparently, not a single question was asked. Isn't that great? hehe!

Today, I'll go to another province to meet my pastor and the rest of the congregation! I'm so happy about everything right now except for my camera that's been busted. Sigh!

an empty conversation

I was talking to a sister in Christ several minutes ago and I have to admit that I didn't like the conversation we had. I felt like she was teaching me something vague or empty. I don't know. I don't really want to judge her way of speaking the word of God because I also know that this is the part of my braggy system. This is me being judgemental and proud. This is me feeling like I know better than she does.

I can barely recall now the whole conversation coz it was plainly ambigous so I kind of forget them. What annoyed me actually is the use of highly beautiful words and deep Tagalog as if I am listening to someone born in the Old testament yet, the meaning was not clearly depicted.

I am sorry. I know that God is not happy with me right now writing about this complaint towards a sister-in-Christ. What I really want to say is that some people act and talk as if they know everything. Oh, I'd better stop right here. :D